So people have asked me “oh, were you scared about your
stroke?” And nope.
Most people are generally scared (rightly so), but during my stroke (wasn't sure it was a stroke until later at the hospital, but...) I held on to some of my certified, medical, scientific conclusions (with NO
basis of science) that actually worked out right. While all of this mess was happening, my
brain seemed to be acting normal (well, my normal), aside from not talking. I heard everything my boss/friend said, it
was rambling, but, you know, like a scared long-winded diatribe, but I
understood the words and everything made sense.
And my internal responses, ignoring the lack of verbal communication,
were logical. After my second big fall
after the stroke I seemed to make myself stand upright without hanging onto the
wall like a drunk person, so win. And I
knew that something had happened to my brain, but whatever had melted was
probably done (this is not really sound logic, but…). In the end, I wasn’t scared. There were friends and family looking after
me and I was headed to the hospital to have my brain checked, so if worse came
to worse and I never got to speak again, then everyone I knew would just have
to learn sign language. That seems more
of a punishment to my friends, but who could give up talking to me if all you
had to do was learn another language.
We’ve had to talk more about the results of my stroke
(obviously speech was a problem) and all of the fun loving mix ups with my
brain. There is more to come. The last couple of times that I
have written I had someone else reading it before I hit send, but that’s probably
ending now. So, please be nice, my
writing is still a work in progress.
After my open-heart surgery I thought I had everything
sorted out, taking on the world and jumping over large bushes. Brain-melt (stroke) was not on my mind, not
even in my hemisphere, but all of a sudden I was right there dealing with one.