The Port-o-Potty Story!!!

Now, the story that you have been waiting for…
"Port-o-Potty Fun 1" - McKinney, Texas
My family used to spend a few weeks every summer up in Colorado.  We would rent a cabin at the YMCA of the Rockies in Estes Park and my aunt and one, or both, of my grandmas would meet us there for some fantastic family time.
"Port-o-Potty Fun 2" - McKinney, Texas
The Y was great!  It was beautiful and there was a ton to do: A million cabins filled with kids just waiting to be your new vacation buddy, basketball courts, tennis courts, horseshoes, an arts and craft center with everything from basket weaving, silk screening,  leather work, to jewelry making, and so much more!  But the thing that my family did most was go on hikes.  Every day the Y would have several different hikes scheduled and my family went on most of them.  It was on one such hike that my aunt had her little “adventure.”
"Port-o-Potty Fun 3" - McKinney, Texas
I don’t actually remember what the mountain we were hiking up that day was called, but it was a nice hike up a wooded mountain to a lake.  The hikes generally started in the morning, ended at some idyllic destination, in this case the lake, for lunch, before we headed back down with time left in the afternoon to go make something in the craft shop.  The hike started out well with the whole family walking together and chatting, with the hike master passing on random bits of wisdom about this plant, that animal, and such.  At some point more than halfway up, my aunt saw a turnoff that lead to a solar powered port-o-potty and she decided that she wanted to stop before we reached the lake for lunch.  Well, this particular port-o-potty was perched on a small wooden platform, hanging off the side of the mountain, looking, to the port-o-potty engineering layman, rather precarious.  But my aunt had put on her big girl pants that day and she decided to test her fate.  And test her fate she did.
"Port-o-Potty Fun 4" - McKinney, Texas
Now, port-o-pottys in the woods, at least in Colorado and I would assume everywhere with bears, have external locks on them.  These locks help keep the bears out of what would have to be the grossest picnic basket ever.  This little feature, which helps to keep the port-o-pottys in national forests clean and claw mark free, is actually what did my aunt in.  While my aunt was using the facilities the wind managed to blow, not only the whole port-o-potty from side to side, but also flipped the bear latch closed, locking my aunt in!  When my aunt went to leave the door would not open, she was stuck in the swaying precariously, hanging off the side of a cliff, stinking like all port-o-potties do, port-o-potty of death!
"Port-o-Potty Fun 5" - McKinney, Texas
The rest of the family reached the lake, ate our lunch, and took some pictures before my mom asked if anyone knew where my aunt was.  There were times on other hikes where my aunt would stop for a rest while everyone else continued on, so we weren’t too worried if she was a little behind, but this was more than a little behind.  Then all of a sudden my aunt came bursting through the woods!  She could not believe that we hadn’t missed her, weren’t we worried about where she was, she could have died in that stinky potty, and no one had even come to look for her!  Apparently, when a teenage boy unwittingly unlatched the door, my aunt came rushing out, scaring the need out of the poor kid.
"Port-o-Potty Fun 6" - McKinney, Texas
There were SO many jokes at my sweet aunt’s expense because, well, that’s just how my family rolls.  That Christmas my brother gave my aunt a port-o-potty survival kit that included a flashlight, air freshener, puzzle books, and a poem written out on a roll of toilet paper!  It was perfect!  After it became obvious that the mailboxes were going to continue to show up under the tree for me at Christmas, mostly from my aunt, I decided that it was time to start a collection for her as well…A port-o-potty collection!  She now has several books, a tic-tac-toe set, several ornaments, a birdfeeder, antique salt and pepper shakers, and some children’s toys.  She’s decided that the bro and I have to handle packing up her house when she passes because the port-o-potty collection is going to take some explaining, but I’m pretty sure that I’ll be telling this story at her funeral, so…It’s a nice, somber, character story, perfect for a funeral, don’t you think?

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