Now that we've gotten the basic sciencey stuff out of the way, let's talk about the tests that got me to surgery time. After a fairly standard visit to the cardiologist and an acceptable looking x-ray, my doctor requested an echocardiogram because it had been a while since I had been in for a visit. I didn't think much of it because I've had an echocardiogram done before and I didn't have any of the concerning symptoms, such as shortness of breath or dizzy spells, which you commonly have when there are cardiac issues. An echocardiogram, or echo for short, is basically a sonogram of your heart. Theoretically the procedure is painless. The technician will run the transducer, or magic x-ray wand, over your chest and side taking video and measurements of your heart. To get clear images the technician will have to push the wand firmly into your chest, and frankly there are some angles and areas where the technician has to use more force and to go over and over and over...You will be sore. While a bit painful, I am lucky that my doctor requested the echo because it showed some areas of concern. These question marks meant more tests. Yippee!
Me: So did I snore? (What?!? Wake up and stop asking stupid questions.)
Tech: No, and most people who snore normally will snore while under anesthesia.
Me: Ha, that's great! Now I get to tell my brother that he can suck it. (Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!)
Tech: Yep. (Avoid eye contact and pack up the machine faster.)
Me: Cause my brother likes to make me paranoid and is always saying that I snore... (You've already told this embarrassing bit of personal none of his business, so SHUT UP!)
Tech: Mmhmm. (Come on, pack up faster! Faster!)
Me: Yeah, so now I can tell him that he's wrong and suck it! Ha ha...(WHY! You already said all of that, just stop talking! No, don't you do it, don't open your mouth again...) I think he just says those things to make me paranoid because our father sounds like a freight train at night and we could never figure out how our mom shared a room with him and actually managed to get any sleep and...(Seriously, if you don't shut up I'm going to have to literally reach in your mouth and hold your tongue. Is that what you want? Do you want the cute tech to think that you are even more of a loon than he already does?)
And thankfully the nurse walked in at that point and I managed to shut up about the snoring long enough for her to wheel me down to the recovery room. Yep, awesome visit to the hospital and way to make an amazing impression! By the way, the parenthesed bits are what the little voice in my head and what I can only imagine the one in the tech's head were saying.