Jon sent me a hilarious essay about getting a colonoscopy and to my delight when I got to the end of the essay the author's name was Dave Barry. Dave Barry is my sense of humor's spirit animal. He has this magical ability to write in great detail about experiences, extremely personal experiences such as a colonoscopy, without being vulgar. The aforementioned colonoscopy column was run in the Miami Herald so I can't actually quote all or any, but I can direct you to the official version online here. It is well worth the read.